This week has been very challenging emotionally.  My daughters have cried almost every night asking for their Daddy. The nightly tears are present regardless of the fact that they are having a nice summer. It reflects the sadness we carry around with you regardless of the happy moments.

A few nights ago, when my younger daughter was crying for her Daddy, I asked her if she dreams about Daddy.  Angrily, she looked at me and said “no, my Daddy is lost”. I could no longer hold back my tears. She has waited long enough for her Daddy to come home. She believes that her Daddy is in the sky and in her heart. She misses him and wants him to come back to her, back to the way life used to be. Since this has not happened she resorted to thinking he is lost.

This is how she understands the absence of her Daddy.  As I reflected on her comment, I realized that I often write about David like he is lost when I speak of “my loss of David”. It made me wonder if or how kids grief differently from adult. I know grief is real even in young kids. A few people have suggested to me that the girls would be fine since they are young – like this in some way should make them resilient.

I guess it depends on what is defined as fine because there is nothing fine about having them grow up without David. I certainly hope they would learn to always find happiness and come to terms with the premature death of their Dad. But right now, we are really struggling with his loss and I feel lost without David.