I regret so many things. Many I cannot let go off and others I have tried to make myself forget. The song “if I could turn back time” by Cher keeps coming to my head.  If only I could turn back time, I would try to change the things within my control.

I regret fighting often with David, particularly when we were younger and I felt more invincible.

I regret that I waited so long to come to terms that his untimely death was approaching. I think if I had accepted sooner, we may have done some things differently – not sure what, but perhaps I would have encouraged him to write letters for his daughters or even make videos for them.

I regret not insisting that David took pictures with his daughters on their birthdays last year.

I regret not taking a family portrait last year.

I regret that cancer exist and we have not figured how to prevent it or cure it.

I regret that cancer has made me even more paranoid about my wellness.

Most of all, I regret that David had cancer. This changed everything in our lives.

Despite all the regrets, I am forever grateful to David for sharing this journey in life with me, even with our challenges and struggles, life with David was beautiful.