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At times, I feel like I am failing. Failing because I do not have a good handle on the routine of running the household. From being efficient at motherhood to the nuances of the household.
Failing because my children’s routine are almost nonexistence. I struggle to get the girls to sleep at the right time, eat the meal I prepare, and even lack the energy to give them a bath at times. Granted these are some of the struggles parenthood, they just seem compounded without David.
Failing because when I look around the house and see the aftermath of winter. There are things that need to be addressed or fixed that I do not understand. I am sure some are minor but I really have no clue where to start. Is it a minor plumbing issue or do I need a plumber? David would have known, he was so handy and he could fix anything.
David, where are you? You fixed everything. I look at the tools on your workbench and I am even more clueless. I feel like I am failing and I need you to fix that too. Failing is not an option, I know you will never accept that, I have to get through this but how I wish you could fix it.
Missing you more….
VICTORY CHEST 
Hey cuz, in my own opinion I think you are being too hard on yourself. The best parenthood advice I ever got was ‘only you know what is BEST and regardless of whatever anyone thinks you are doing a darn GOOD JOB!’ I would say each child is different, what is a routine to one may be complete mayhem to another.
I know you definitely want to do what is best, but I will suggest you are practical and ensure you use all help offered and more importantly don’t be too hard on yourself you are the best mum your girls will ever have (don’t forget that fact)!
Stop worrying about what you are not doing well, start praising yourself for all the great things you are doing to groom great girls :-).
I think you’re amazing. While it’s not the exact same, I remember being super overwhelmed when I had my baby, a new experience, and I had made all these grand plans to breastfeed for 6 months to a year and guess what, no milk! I was so sad, and depressed that I wouldn’t be giving my daughter the best start with formula. My mom had to eventually shake me into realizing that the point is that she eats and gets the nutrients she needs to grow healthily – whether that came from breast milk or formula. I had tried my best, it wasn’t working, now on to the next plan. My point here I guess is that you should please pat yourself on the back for giving the girls what they need the most – your attention, your love, your support, your prayers. The other stuff, don’t be afraid to outsource if possible or leave till later. Keep doing what you’re doing! Lots of hugs.