Happy Days

I knew this day was going to be hard. I preempted it, I tried to think of what to do to ease the pain ahead of time. I also tried to determine how to spend the day as I reflected on what should have been our wedding anniversary.

I took the day off work and joined my daughter on a class trip which was actually quite enjoyable. As I came back home, the emotions started to overwhelm me and my dear friend called in the nick of time. She immediately knew I was not in a good mood and asked if I needed her to cry with me or talk about David. I told her none of it will help, so she shared some stories with me from the weeks leading to our wedding and that helped lighten my mood.

I considered taking myself to dinner.  I was reminded of a lady that David and I met several years ago that had lost her husband. We talked about the Bruce Willis movie, The Sixth Sense. She said the ending of the movie was not a surprise to her. Early into the movie she knew that Bruce Willis’s character was dead. She knew because she noticed that the character’s wife was always dining alone on what seemed like special occasion such as anniversaries. While this was not the deterrent from dining alone, I opted out because I did not want to be a basket case in a restaurant.

I considered watching the video from our anniversary. I was also afraid to watch it because I knew it would make me very sad. However I could not resist the urge, I wanted to see David in action.  I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to feel some of the happiness I felt on that day. So finally I popped in the dvd and watched some of the video. I am relieved to say it brought more smiles than tears. I was reminded of some very happy days when I was sweating the fun stuff like floral arrangement for the decor, choice of songs for the program, honeymoon location, or the weather forecast on my wedding day and everything turned out to be perfect. Well, I miss sweating the small stuff.

Below is a picture of me and David at a restaurant on our first wedding anniversary. Interestingly, when I returned to work following the funeral, my digital picture frame was frozen and this was the only picture it projected until April when it started rotating pictures again.