It was no surprise that Monday evening ended even crappier than the morning.  As we started homework my older daughter was already getting sad even my younger daughter recognized it and tried to make her happy.

By bedtime she broke down crying, she cried and talked about how much she missed her Dad.  She wondered why he did not get better, why he had to die now, why did he not die when she was older. She asked why she could not see him ever again. She looked out the window hoping she would find a shooting star so that she could wish for him to come back. She cried a lot, we cried a lot, I have had the same questions often.

As she started to settle down a bit she said that when she grows up, she wishes to find someone just like her Daddy.  WOW…I was again dumbfounded because while I know I cannot wish David back, I can truly wish the same for both girls because I know how lucky I was to have David.

I started telling her stories about her Dad.  She laugh hysterically as I told her how David used to dress her up and confuse the front and back of her dresses saying that men clothes are so much easier because the buttons are always in the front. How he used to wonder why girls had to wear tights and lifted her with tights to ensure that it fit just right (this is something we still do). I told her how he used to appeal to me to stop trying to feed her puree baby food such as tender beef spinach which were completely void of taste and asked that I feed her what we could eat. We laugh about so many things and she concluded that “Daddy is silly”.

I tried to assure her that even though Daddy is gone I will continue to do my best to make her happy. She asked that I should not talk about her Dad being gone but rather I should tell her more stories about him to make her laugh.

The best part of the evening was while we were laughing about the story, she said that “I actually forget that Daddy was gone, and for a minute I thought that Daddy was here”.