Eating frosting with Daddy

Eating frosting with Daddy

I knew Father’s day was coming and I made a very conscious decision to disregard the day because I think it will be one of the hard days. I changed channels whenever I heard anything about father’s day or avoided any promotional emails regarding the day.  I recall it being a very painful day for me following the loss of my Dad. I wanted to avoid making a big deal of the day knowing the emotions of my daughters and I are at stake.

The only thing I did proactively regarding Father’s Day was asking their teachers to ensure that my daughters were not excluded from any Father’s day related project. I have previously explained to my daughters that even though Daddy is not here anymore, they have a Dad that is forever in their hearts.

My older daughter opted out of participating in any of the Father’s day projects. She said she did not want to do the project because she could not give it to her Daddy, a decision that I respected and commended. Soon after she told me about her decision, she started crying. She was sad that every child in the class was able to make a project that they will give to their Dads. I explained that in the future if she wanted to make anything for Daddy she can and we will pin it on the board where David used to pin all the arts and crafts they made for him.

Instead of a father’s day project, she brought home a memory box with a note about things she remembers about her Daddy. The note was very touching and moved me to tears, I was marveled at some of the details of things she remembers and it allowed me to reflect on those memories.

One that stuck out the most were her memories of eating frosting with Daddy. I was reminded of the fond memories of David and the girls eating frosting rather than the cake. She also remembered me getting upset with David on the morning of my younger daughter’s birthday when he finished eating what he thought was leftover frosting but it was frosting I was still planning to use to finish her cake and I asked that he make a new batch.

In a previous conversation, she asked that since Daddy likes frosting we should make a “frosting cake” for his upcoming birthday. She explained a frosting cake as a cake made entirely of frosting. So we will be stacking up the butter, cream and sugar in hopes that the cake will help us smile as we remember David on his birthday.

For Father’s day, we have nothing special planned. It will be just another Sunday but that does not mean David is not constantly on our minds. I just do not feel compelled to do anything extra to recognize the day knowing it will only make the girls sadder about the absence of their beloved Daddy, my dearest David. Also, it is a painful reminder of the absence my Daddy dearest.