The last time I left my office I was a married woman, today, I returned with the most unwanted status, a word I despise. I struggle to even type it..WIDOWED. The word makes me feel handicapped. While I can understand that David is gone, this is one status I am not embracing.

Some have asked why am I going back to work already. For me it is simple, why not. What will I do at home? It does not take away the pain. In fact the longer I stay home the more difficult it may be to re-adjust to the routine of work.

I dressed for work making sure I did not look like a hot mess. I tried to keep my head up like it was a normal day at work. This was short lived, as I started driving to work, I was reminded that I did not see David in this morning:

• He did not insist on ironing an outfit that looked perfectly fine to me
• He did not give me a thumbs up or thumbs down on my outfit
• He did not keep informing me of the time to ensure that I wasn’t running late for work (this used to annoy me)
• He did not say “I love you”
• He will not be calling to find out how my day is going
• I will not hear him say “Happy Monday” or “it is almost Friday” (even on Monday)
• He will not be leaving any messages for me or sending me any emails
• He will no longer drive me to work or pick the kids from school

All I have now are the memories and that just does not seem sufficient. I managed ok at work today, thanks to a pep talk from my dear friend and thanks to David who always told me “you can do anything”. I am also thankful to my co-workers for being so supportive.