At times, I feel like I am failing. Failing because I do not have a good handle on the routine of running the household. From being efficient at motherhood to the nuances of the household.

Failing because my children’s routine are almost nonexistence. I struggle to get the girls to sleep at the right time, eat the meal I prepare, and even lack the energy to give them a bath at times. Granted these are some of the struggles parenthood, they just seem compounded without David.

Failing because when I look around the house and see the aftermath of winter. There are things that need to be addressed or fixed that I do not understand. I am sure some are minor but I really have no clue where to start. Is it a minor plumbing issue or do I need a plumber? David would have known, he was so handy and he could fix anything.

David, where are you? You fixed everything. I look at the tools on your workbench and I am even more clueless. I feel like I am failing and I need you to fix that too. Failing is not an option, I know you will never accept that, I have to get through this but how I wish you could fix it.

Missing you more….