Tag Archives: children

Sweet Dreams of David

06 Thursday Feb 2014

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IMG_2338In the last two days, the girls have said something about David as soon as they wake up reflecting their state of mind.

When my younger daughter woke up two days ago, the first thing she said was “I want my Daddy”.  I was taken aback by this because while that is a common phrase, it is usually used in the evening when she is resisting bedtime and wants her Dad to plead for her or when she and her Sister are playfully competing for his attention. Perhaps she was having some sweet dreams which was interrupted when she woke up.

The next day as soon as my older daughter woke up with the brightest smile on her face, she said “Mommy, I had the best dream of my life”.  She explained that she saw her Daddy and her Grandpa (David’s Dad also deceased) and that she and her Sister ran over to Daddy and gave him a hug. From the excitement in her voice, I knew that the dream brought so much joy to her and it helped her feel a closeness to her Dad, her hero.

I have not yet had any dreams of David, it may be due to my lack of sleep, I am sure they will come in time. However, I am afraid that such dreams will bring sadness when I wake up since it will be reminder that it was only a dream and I no longer have David to touch and to hold.

How are the children doing?

04 Tuesday Feb 2014

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Davidandgirls storyboard

How are the children doing?  This is a question I get often and it is very tough question to answer. It is one that weighs very heavily on my mind.  With two young kids, it is hard to fully understand how they are grieving or if the youngest one is grieving now or whether it will be delayed.

I have seen my older daughter look at pictures of her Dad and start getting teary eyed and then we talk about his memories and she is smiling again.  She knows the sadness of the loss as she consoled me as I mentioned in a previous blog post.

When my younger daughter woke up yesterday, the first thing she said was “I want my Daddy”.

My greatest desire is to raise the girls the way David and I will have raised them together which I pray would be the right way when I can look back and know I have done a good job. One of my greatest sadness is knowing they will not get to fully experience the love of their Dad, a love so great, for most of their lives and will have to settle for the short memories.

He was an amazing father:

  • the one who took them out to play in the middle of snow blizzards when no one dared to step outside
  • the one who took them to play in the rain and jump in the puddles of water or make paper-boat or bottle caps to flow with the current
  • the one who took them to the creek to go in search of frogs
  • the one who took them to the grocery store where they were well known and enjoyed the container of whipped cream before paying for the empty container at the register
  • the one who soothed them to sleep and burped them as infants
  • the one who threw them high in the sky as I watched them laugh hysterically
  • the one who gave the best piggy back rides
  • the one who created games out of his imagination (spider baby, did somebody say corn, tickle toes….), they laughed so hard their belly hurt
  • the one who built hideout and fortress out of any material around the house
  • the one who took them out to the playground regardless of the temperature

He played with them without fear and inhibition which helped them stride along bravely. Some times as I watched them play, I asked that they play gentler and they looked at me as the party pooper. He would sometimes reply that kids are made of rubber as they proceeded in their games.

While I cannot play with the energy and enthusiasm of David, I hope I can play with them with less inhibitions because to hear them laugh that hard again will be priceless.

Super Children

02 Sunday Feb 2014

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I have definitely learned a lot from the wisdom of our children. They are the source of strength and fortitude for us.

In the need to preserve the innocence of our children, we tried to shield them from most of the information on David’s illness. However, they picked up so much and my older daughter even knew the name of David’s doctors and some of his medications.  Eventually, I realized I needed to be more open with them.

So yesterday when my older daughter heard me crying, I did not pretend that I was not. She asked “are you crying because of Daddy?”. I said yes and she ran over and gave me the tightest hug and kiss. I felt a soothing relief and also realized that David’s legacy will truly live on in our children since they have so much of his loving personality.

Later in the day, while speaking with one of our good family friends, she told me that after she informed her five year old daughter of David’s passing, her daughter asked if they can share their Dad with my children. That melted my heart!