My older daughter celebrated her birthday recently and I chose to reflect on all the joy and happiness she has brought to my life. Her birth changed me forever. She made me a Mother, a role I love beyond words.  Motherhood made me want to be a better person. It domesticated me and helped reduce my temperament (at times).

On her birthday, I thought so much of David.  I recall so much about the pregnancy, the day she was born. The tears of joy we shed. The love David has for his daughters and how he loved being a Dad. I was sad that he is not here with us to celebrate. I wish I could sense that he was watching over us and seeing how she is becoming more like him in many ways.  She talks about him frequently and misses him dearly. I was determined to try to make her birthday tears free. I did not succeed, I cried, she caught me and she cried.

On the brighter note, I was able to enjoy some time off work at home with my daughters.  It was time I really valued, the best I have felt this year since we had plenty of time to spend together without the stress of getting ready for work or school. We spent most of the time at home relaxing and trying to enjoy the rest of the summer weather.

The time off allowed plenty of time to prepare for my older daughter’s birthday party. She  was full of ideas and I wanted to indulge as reasonable possible.  I told her I was going to make birthday cake. Immediately, she expressed her concerns about my ability to decorate the cake to be nice enough.  Her comment reminded me of David – she is truly her Father’s child, He also questioned my ability to make a birthday cake for her the first time I tried three years ago.

Her lack of confidence was the motivation I needed. I was determined to prove to her that I could decorate a cake nicely. The same way I wanted to prove the same thing to David three years ago.

I thank my children for always giving me reasons to be motivated and trying to be a better person. It reminds me of David – who always encouraged me to try harder when he knew I could do better.

The pictures below are my attempts at making cake. When David saw my first attempt, he laughed hysterically as he suggested that I should seriously consider calling a baker or try significantly harder. After improving my effort, he was impressed with the cake in the second picture. The last picture is the cake I made for my daughter’s recent birthday and she was so happy with it.